How to involve a parent who doesn't speak German

You're having a dream: You're in a room with a bunch of people chattering away in a foreign tongue. They talk to you, make jokes, and are having a wonderful time. They smile and nod at you, and the volume in the room is growing ever louder. All the while, you are feeling more and more left out and baffled as to what they are saying.

Is this a scene from a Kafka novel? Nope - it's what some monolingual parents imagine when they think about their kids growing up speaking German with their bilingual spouses.

One of the most common reasons a family gives up on German as a second language is because one of the parent's doesn't speak it.
Reality usually isn't quite as harsh as our Kafka nightmare, but it can be an obstacle for families where one parent is bilingual and the other is not. The English-only parent (EOP) feels left out and excluded from family conversations, the bilingual parent (BP) is torn between wanting to provide as much German as possible without leaving her spouse out in the cold.

But bilingual family life doesn't have to be all confusion and exclusion for the parent who doesn't speak German. Take a look at these suggestions to help pave the way for linguistic harmony.

1. Create your family's language goals and objectives together.
Probably the most important step, when you discuss your goals regarding German together, it's much easier for the EOP to be supportive and feel involved.

2. Build family traditions together that transcend the language.
If you're consciously integrating German culture into your family activities, this is a great time for the EOP to be involved. You can all enjoy a Laternenzug on Martinstag or give Schultüten on the first day of school. These German traditions can be enjoyed by all and will create a sense of family unity which is not based on language ability.

3. Allow and encourage your children to do some mixing or "code-switching."
Some families like to be very strict about never mixing German and English in the same conversation or sentence. But most bilinguals are very comfortable switching back and forth depending on the context - perhaps your children wouldn't dream of calling a pretzel anything other than a "Bretze" and they do so even in an English sentence, or they throw in some German words when telling their EOP about the German DVD they watched. This is an easy way for the EOP to pick up a few German words and allow the kids to enjoy their ability to pick which language is right for a particular thought. This kind of linguistic play is lots of fun for bilinguals and you can encourage it in your family.

4. Offer the EOP some of our free Parenting auf Deutsch phrase guides.
He can then issue commands in German with confidence!

5. Make sure the EOP has quality time with the kids in his native English.
Encourage him to share songs with them in English, tell jokes, or read stories. They will be sure to treasure these times with him.

6. If you start when the children are small and you use a large amount of German at home, you may find that the EOP learns along with the kids.
Perhaps he gets to the point where he can understand most of a conversation and is able to then respond and participate in English. No more exclusion!

7. Suggest formal learning.
This takes the previous point one step further. If the EOP decides to study German himself, within a few years, he can be close to catching up with the kids. Podcasts like One Minute German and Rosetta Stone software make it possible to study German with a small investment of time daily. Formal study will also impress your children of the commitment the family has made to German - if Dad is taking the time to learn this, I guess it's pretty important!

Why is it important to speak German around an English-only parent (EOP)?
Of course you don't have to speak German even when the EOP is around - many families do just fine switching to English when necessary and back to German when everyone present can understand. However, sticking to German more often has it's advantages - the children will get more exposure which will ultimately lead to more advanced fluency. They may be more accepting of German as they hear more of it.

Be proactive - make sure there are no Kafka-esque scenes in your home.
A little preparation to involve your English-only spouse in the German aspects of your family will pay off - no metamorphosis required.

More Christmas Titles - Der Grinch

Note: this post was first published in 2007.

Have you seen the Grinch? Since The Cat in the Hat went out of print, this is one of the few Dr. Seuss titles in German remaining and a classic for Christmas. Oh, why didn't I stockpile Der Kater mit Hut when I had the chance? Oh well, at least we still have that stingy old Grinch to entertain. The translation is excellent and the rhyming is perfect.

An excerpt:

Der Grinch rief: "Hü hott!"

Dann ging's in die Tiefen

Zu den Häsern in der Stadt,

Wo die Hus friedlich schliefen.

Wie der Grinch Weihnachten gestohlen hat

German Advent Traditions

Photo: Xanesmommy

Advent, Advent,
ein Lichtlein brennt,
erst eins,
dan zwei,
dann drei,
dann vier,
dann steht das Christkind vor der Tür.

Adventszeit, the 4 Sundays leading up to Christmas, is a wonderful time for singing, baking, making crafts and gifts and spending time with family and friends. It’s fun to bring German traditions and culture into your family, and reinforce the German language you are using with them.

Photo: PetroleumJelliffe

In Germany, Austria and Switzerland, winter days are short and dark. Advent wreaths and Advent calendars help children mark the time until the birth of Jesus on December 25. Last Sunday, November 30, was the first Sunday in Advent 2008. The first candle in your Advent wreath should have been lit. Next Sunday, December 7, light the first candle and a new one so that 2 candles are lit. Use the candle lighting as an reason to spend time with your families, read a Christmas story, sing a song and enjoy special cookies or Stollen.

Create your own Adventskranz
An Advent wreath (der Adventskranz oder österreichisch Adventkranz) is often simply 4 red pillar candles surrounded by a wreath of pine or fir branches, then decorated with nuts, ribbons, berries or other items. It can be as simple or as decorated as you want to make it. One year, we had a platter filled with nuts in their shells and 4 candles. Simple but elegant. For smaller kids, have them cut out of red paper 4 rectangles of different heights for the candles. Glue them to a green paper rectangle (wreath base). Each Sunday add a yellow flame.

Advent calendars are meant to count every day from December 1 until December 24. They come in many styles. Originally they were pictures behind the doors, but now the most popular style has chocolates behind the doors (die Türchen). You can even find them filled with LEGO or Playmobil figures! If you have time, it is fun to make your own and fill the numbered boxes or bags with special items for your children. The SWR-Kindernetz website has several ideas with photo tutorials.

Several websites host online Adventkalenders, including:

* KI.KA – hosted by Beutolomäus and your favorite TV characters from Germany’s kids TV channel, also includes games, recipes, stories (about Bratapfel, die Kerzen am Adventskranz, and a kleinen Weihnachtsbaum), crafts, singing and coloring.
* SWR-Kindernetz – the gingerbread house advent calendar has games and activities behind the windows, many involving Janosch’s Tigerenten Club characters.
* Adventskalender.net – hosts an MP3 Adventskalender, also has poems and stories including several by Hans Christian Andersen and Charles Dickens, songs and recipes.

To get you in the Christmas mood, we recommend Rolf Zuckowski’s wonderful CD Wir warten auf Weihnachten. For a great story and explanation of a typical German Christmas, listen to Conni feiert Weihnachten. For more activities, try Advent und Weihnachten mit Kindern erlebt” and Kinder feiern Weihnachten.

Wishing you a happy holiday season!

If you have wiggly kids, then you need this German book without words

My littlest guy, J, is busy. When you're almost 2 years old, there's no time to waste; bunkbeds are waiting to be explored, forbidden scissors are beckoning, and cats begging to be chased :) He doesn't calm down willingly when playtime is over. So it is with much relief that I have been pulling out our Winter Wimmelbuch at naptime.


J doesn't normally have much of an attention span for stories but this book has held him spellbound for several weeks now. Each extra large page spread has a multitude of tiny details to observe and a story waiting to be discovered. Only there are no words, just a wintry city scene on each page which progresses as you move through the book. Each time we look at it, we see different things. The story of the characters is slowly unfolding for us. Maybe that's why J likes it so much - he can look and look and doesn't have to listen to any words to see what's going on. He enjoys pointing and naming the things he knows - Vögel (birds), Autos, Schneemann (snowman), etc.

Amazingly, this book never fails to calm J down and by the end, he's either sleeping or very relaxed and ready for his nap.

If you're looking for books with a German storyline to read aloud, this is not the one. However, if you want a book to help a wild and wiggly kid settle down, you can't go wrong with the Winter Wimmelbuch!

The author, Rotraut Susanne Berners won the 2006 Sonderpreis from the Deutscher Jugendliteratur Preis for her entire collection.

Continue to Berners Winter Wimmelbuch or browse the entire Alphabet Garten Books for German Learners website.

Die Geschichte vom Löwen, der nicht schreiben konnte

My 4 year old son is a perfectionist. He wants to do everything his big brother does and he wants to do it just as well. When he doesn't succeed, he gets mad. Super boiling mad. A bit like the lion in this story who doesn't get what he wants.

"Neiiiiiin!" brüllte der Löwe.
"So was hätte ich doch nie geschrieben!"
("Noooo," roared the lion. I would never have written this!")

The lion is mad because he wants to write a letter to a lioness. Since he doesn't know how to write, he makes the other animals write for him, and the letter doesn't turn out the way he wants. The lion gets madder and madder, roaring and eating a few of the unfortunate letter-writers along the way, until he finally yells out with utmost eloquence what he wants to say and the lioness overhears him. She is smitten and all is well. The story ends with the lioness teaching a now-gentle lion how to write.

My own little lion just came and confiscated his book back. Maybe the lioness is making an impression on him, too :)

Die Geschichte vom Löwen, der nicht schreiben konnte - a sweet story about patience and perseverance for preschoolers and beginning readers.

Deutscher Jugendliteraturepreis Winners are Here

The 2008 Deutscher Jugendliteraturpreisträger (award winners) were recently announced and I have added many of them to our catalog. These are such exciting, beautiful books!

I will be reviewing them over the next couple weeks and will take you on a tour. For now, here is a brief list:

Der weiße und der schwarze Bär

Ente, Tod und Tulpe

Wann kommt Mama?

Alle seine Entlein

was wäre wenn

Trauriger Tiger toastet Tomaten

Ein Bild von Ivan

Alphabet Garten Favorites - at your fingertips

Announcing two new collections - the Little Kid Favorites Collection and the Big Kid Favorites Collection. Each set has 10 of our very favorite German books and 1 or 2 CDs for your budding bilinguals.



So many of you have contacted me to ask for recommendations of appropriate German books for your kids. These collections were created in response to your requests. You can still use the buying guide which lists several excellent choices by age group, but if you want a quick and easy purchase option, these collections have everything you need for that little bilingual in your life. Viel Spaß beim Lesen!

Ich bin cool - bist du cool?

This is a reprint of an interview I did with Uwe Kind in 2004 for the KiNA Magazine. Uwe has just released a new CD, LingoTech Deutsch, which I am pleased to offer to you and this seemed to be a great time to re-release this article. I plan to translate it into English as well soon.


Zehn Uhr morgens bei der Hopewell Valley Central High School in New Jersey. Über 800 aufgeregte Teenagers verhalten sich, als ob sie bei einem Rock-Konzert wären. Es wird mitgetanzt und mitgesungen, alles auf Deutsch natürlich. So ist es einfach bei einem Konzert von Uwe Kind. Das muss man wenigstens mal miterleben. Sarah Mueller war vor kurzem dabei und hatte später die Gelegenheit mit Uwe zu sprechen.

SM: Deine Geschichte ist echt interessant - Du bist mit Deinen Liedern und Deinen Büchern in der ganzen Welt bekannt. Wie hast Du damit angefangen?

UK: Ich war (Deutschlehrer) an der New School (in New York) und während der Kaffeepause habe ich immer Volkslieder mit meinen Schülern gesungen und dabei bemerkt, wie schnell sich meine Schüler die Texte der Volkslieder eingeprägt und in Ihr Vokabular aufgenommen haben. Das hat mich auf die Idee gebracht, deutsche Grammatik und Sprechakte mit Musik zu lehren. Der Erfolg war sofort sichtbar.

Mein erstes Buch mit Ursula Meyer vom Goethe Institut New York hiess: “O, Susanne, ja konjugiere für mich”) eine Art von “Vermusizierung der deutschen Grammatik

SM: Also hast Du gar nicht als Musiker angefangen?

UK: Nein –. Als Deutschlehrer!

Das Goethe Institut hat mich dabei sehr unterstützt und mir die Gelegenheit geboten wurde, Deutschlehrern und Schülern meine Lieder vorzuführen.

Nach ‘O,Susanne, ja konjugier für mich’, folgte ‘Tune in to English’, das in der ganzen Welt und ganz besonders in Japan ein grosser Hit wurde. Im Langenscheidtverlag erschien dann nach meinem Auftritt bei Johnny Carson und David Lettermann ‘Eine kleine Deutschmusik’ . Dieses Buch mit Musikcassetten wurde und ist immer noch ein internationaler Renner. NHKTV in Tokio machte aus der “kleinen Deutschmusik” ein erfolgreiches Fernsehprogramm.

Durch Anregung durch das Goethe Institut begannen meine ersten Konzerte und Konzerte sind nun praktisch zu meiner Hauptbeschäftigung geworden. Es begann mit 100 Schülern. Mittlerweile stehe ich schon vor 1200 Schülern. Lehrer haben schnell erkannt, dass Uwe Kind Konzerte eine ausgezeichnete Art ist, für Deutsch zu werben.

SM: Ja genau - bei Deinem Konzert wo ich dabei war, waren die Schüler total begeistert. Wie bringst Du die Kinder dazu, so toll mitzumachen?

UK: Das ist der Rhythmus der Musik, die lustigen Texte, die Bewegungen dazu und auch meine Begeisterung, die die Schüler spüren und sie mitreisst. Die Musik ist modern and cool und zu eine Art von “educational entertainment” geworden. Die neue LingoTech Konzert CD geht
Weg wie warme Semmeln und die Käufer sind nicht mehr die Lehrer, sondern die Schüler. Ich bin 55 Jahre alt, könnte gut der Grossvater von Vielen meiner Konzertteilnehmer sein, aber die Kids finden mich toll, bitten mich um Autogramme auf Ihre T-shirts, Schuhe Hände und Arme. Wenn für ein Lernfach soviel Begeisterung da ist, dann weiss man, dass man ins Schwarze getroffen hat.

SM: Ich habe das gar nicht erwartet – ich habe sogar gelesen, es waren Schüler dabei, die überhaupt nicht Deutsch lernen, und die waren auch voll dabei und hatten enormen Spass. Übrigens, was ist Dein Lieblingslied?

UK: “Ich bin cool“ finde ich echt cool. In Dänemark wurde dieses Lied ein Radiohit. Aber ich liebe auch den Ohrenwurm “Ich bin Ausländer“ ,den Deutschlehrer-und Schüler mit mir identifizieren.

SM: Ja – diese Lieder haben tollen Schwung.

UK: Mit Musik und Rhythmus prägt sich Lernmaterial viel leichter ein. Das hat die Reklameindustrie schon längst erkannt. Musik entspannt, nimmt die Angst, verhindert Lernblockaden und das Lernen wird erleichtert. Der Übergang vom Singen zum Sprechen ist ein natürlicher Vorgang. Natürlich ist das Singen und Rappen nur ein Teil des
Sprachunterrichts.

SM: Viele Leute sind der Meinung, Deutsch ist eine schwierige Sprache. Was sagst Du dazu.

UK: Keine Sprache lernt sich leicht. Deutsch ist vielleicht etwas schwieriger am Anfang, aber ich sage immer, “Es ist der Sänger und nicht das Lied“ –Ist der Sänger gut, ist das Lied leicht zu lernen. Der Lehrer muss die Sprache “verkaufen” und die Sprache so attraktiv wie möglich verpacken. Musik, Rhythmus, Tanz und Bewegung gehören zu “Verpackungsmaterialien”.

SM: Hast Du einen guten Rat für Kinder, die privat Deutsch lernen wollen?

UK: Kindern lernen am besten, wenn man sie in Spiele und Aktivitäten involviert, nie kritisiert, sondern nur belohnt. Ich empfehle auch meine Bücher, wie “Eine kleine Deutschmusik”, “Deutschvergnügen” und die neue LingoTech CD.

SM: Vielen Dank für das Gespräch.
_____________________________________________

Uwe Kind gibt Konzerte, Lehrerseminare und lehrt Deutsch bei Siemens.
Auf seiner Webseite können Sie seine Bücher, Musikcasssetten und CDs sehen und teilweise auch anhören sowie seine bekannten Talking T-Shirts sehen und ebenfalls bestellen.

A big book! Erste Bilder, Erste Wörter

 

First Puzzles - Wilde Tiere

 

Another Fingerspiel

Meine Hände sind verschwunden
habe keine Hände mehr.
Seht da sind die Hände weider,
Tralalalalalala.

(sung to the tune of Kommt ein Vogel geflogen)

Movement
Hide your hands behind your back. When you come to "Seht da sind die Hände,"
bring them forward and wiggle your fingers.

- From Fingerspiele

Watching German DVDs

German movies and TV shows are a wonderful way to increase the amount of German input your children receive. One of the most frequent questions I get from people is how to watch German DVDs.

Multi-Region Required
First, you must be aware that most (95%?) of all German DVDs require a multi-region DVD player. (For more technical information on all this multi-region stuff, see DVD Regions Explained) The good news is that you may be able to convert your own player to multi-region, if you don't mind a little research. Videohelp.com has "hacks" or instructions for many DVD players on how to "unlock" the multi-region capability for your DVD player. It all depends on the player - some are easy to do, some are harder, and some can't be changed.

If you don't want to update your own player, maybe your computer can play the DVDs! Most computer DVD players will play Region 2 (which is Europe) DVDs. The catch is that you have to switch between regions when you play different DVDs and the number of times you may switch is limited. This isn't a problem if you designate the computer as German (Region2) only. If you still want to be able to switch without limitation, you can install software which will bypass the region setting entirely. I use VideoLan for this purpose. It's not super-intuitive to use but it does the job.

In case none of the above options works for you, I do sell a multi-region DVD player on my website.

So grab some German episodes of Sendung mit der Maus, Biene Maja, Harry Potter and the like and have fun! It's an easy way to increase German exposure in your home.

Suggestions for Adult Learners

I frequently hear from adults who are learning German and are looking to use children's books as an addition to their studies. What a great idea! Children's books can be quite simple and are often more interesting and more affordable than materials written for German as a foreign language (DaF). Here are some suggestions for adults learning German.

Ich
A wonderful little book for people of all ages - simple and thoughtful, funny and sweet. An excerpt: Ich erfreue mich an den kleinen Dingen des Lebens... und natürlich auch an den großen.


See you - im nächsten Sommer. A German - English story
(Not very simple but the switching between German and English might make it possible for you to follow the story and it would be more interesting than a much simpler book. There are also 2 other books in this genre.

Bobo Siebenschläfer
Very simple stories written for toddlers. A good way to pick up everyday vocabulary. Sample pages on the website.

German Reader Set Level 1 (3 Books)
Books for beginning readers - these are fairly simple and would offer good practice.

Leseleuchte Winnie Puuh. Alles macht Musik. Level 1
A simple storybook

Speaking German as a second language with your kids

I've just published a lens on Squidoo called "Speaking German as a second language with your kids." Lots of information for beginning bilingual families including the basics, myths on bilingualism and links to many resources.

Squidoo is a place for people to share their knowledge and passions with the world. What an excellent resource! If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the challenges of raising bilingual kids, I encourage you to check out my lens.

Ein kleines Fingerspiel

Zwei Zappelmänner

Zwei Zappelmänner

aus dem Sack!

Der eine heißt Schnick,

der andre heißt Schnack.

Schnick hat 'ne Mütze

und Schnack hat 'nen Hut,

und alle beide vertragen sich gut!

Hand movements: Hold the fists together, with thumbs hidden. At "aus dem Sack" the thumbs come out of their hiding place and are stretched up in the air. Then first the left thumb (Schnick) and then the right thumb (Schnack) bow to each other. Then, alternately wiggle the thumbs. Finally the thumbs touch each other gently. This game is also good with painted fingernails or little finger puppets.

This game comes from Fingerspiele, Klassiker und neue Ideen für Babys und Kleinkinder (the translation is mine). Viel Spaß beim Spielen!

New Titles in the Baby Boardbook Set

I'm very excited to announce the new titles in the Baby Boardbook set. With this collection, you receive Im Kindergarten, Auf dem Spielplatz (At the Playground), Bei uns Zuhause (At our House), and Beim Einkaufen (Going Shopping). The books are a bit bigger this time, 7 inches square, with lots of detail to look at in each double-page spread. The sturdy boardbook pages will withstand much loving from their readers!

This set is one of the top 5 items in the store - it's great for kids ages 1-4. If you don't speak German, you will find this is an easy choice for a gift - a great collection all ready to go.

Zum Geburtstag, viel Glück...!

My baby is 1 year old today! With 2 big brothers, he certainly doesn't need any toys or clothes. In fact, we have been trying to weed out all the extra stuff in the house. So I had no problem turning to my favorite indulgence, books! Or specifically, Bücher! And there was so much to choose from!

Have you seen Groß und Kleine - Wilde Tiere? It is the cutest book - perfect for my little guy who expects a book to have more than a story - it needs to do something. This book has a large puzzle piece with a wild animal baby on every other page and a picture of the baby and it's mama on the opposite side. The book is about 5 inches square, a bit on the chunky side, perfect for little hands and the boardbook pages are extra-thick and durable. I recommend loosening the pieces before giving it to the anxious recipient.

The new Max und Mini series is also a big hit - cut-outs in every page let you peek through to the next page. J is enjoying Max und Mini lernen die Gegensätze (opposites).

This last book isn't really for babies but the story is so sweet, that I decided to add it to our collection anyway. J has just started sitting still for short books so we'll work up to this one - Das kleine Blau und das kleine Gelb. In this story in verse, das kleine Blau (blue) and Gelb (yellow) play together and get all mixed up when they discover they can make green! When they go home, their parents don't recognize them until they separate again. With only a line or two on each page and large text, this is a great book for beginning readers. A fun way to talk about colors and friendship.

An excerpt:

Doch in der Schule, wie man sieht,
Sitzt alles brav in Reih und
Glied.

Kaum aber ist die Schule aus,
Geht's wie der Wirbelwind nach
Haus.

Happy Birthday, J!

Gifts for 4 year old twin boys

Hi Sarah,
It’s that time of year again when I need help picking out gifts for my nearly 4 year old twin nephews who speak German primarily.

I would appreciate any book/dvd/game suggestions. You always make excellent suggestions. I am interested in the Dr. Suess book that I saw on your website.

Thanks-J

---------------------------------------------

Hi J,

Thanks for your note. Yes, the Grinch book is a classic. I've just put a new title "1-2-3 Minuten Geschichten" on the website - it's got over 200 pages of very quick stories. There is also an audiobook with the same stories - it will be in next week.

Die Weihnachtsmaus is very cute

Was können diese Fahrzeuge is a nice book with several stories about vehicles.

I think the Mini Lesemaus set is new since you last ordered

Augen zu, kleiner Tiger is adorable.

Na warte, sagte Schwarte is a very silly story about two pigs who get married and decide to paint all the wedding guests since, being pigs, they are all in the buff and dirty.

There's a great collection of DVDs called Abenteuer Sehen with 6 hours of classic shows for kids.

That should give you a good start! Please let me know if you have any questions.

Viele Gruesse,
Sarah

Book Suggestions

I have gotten so many requests for suggestions lately, I thought I'd post some of them online so that others may benefit from the ideas. I will leaving names and other identifying information off for reasons of privacy.

I hope you find this information useful! If you have any questions about what books are appropriate for your child, please send an email to thea @ alphabet-garten.com.

Viele Gruesse!
Sarah

Suggestions for Teenagers

Hi! I'm interested in purchasing a few books for my son, age 17, who has studied High School German for two years. We are a homeschool family and have used an online school (German Online - Oklahoma State University) for this language study. I'm wondering if you could possibly help advise me as to what books might be an appropriate level.
Thank you for any help you can offer.



Sincerely,

L

--------------------------------------------------



Dear L,



Thanks for your request. How nice to hear from other homeschoolers! I am homeschooling my 3 little ones (7, 3, and 1). I suggest you take a look at this series of German/English stories- I think they would be perfect for your son with a good command of German - they should be entertaining and a bit challenging. They are a lot of fun.
Please let me know if you have any questions.


Viele Gruesse,
Sarah